Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I
pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back.
For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I
pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule:
To NEVER tell a human that the world is really ruled by CATS!
- Author Unknown
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want. Cats rarely listen to you.
Cats are totally unpredictable. Cats whine when they are not happy.
When you want to play, house cats want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, house cats want to play.
Domestic house cats expect you to cater to their every whim.
Cats are moody. Cats leave hair everywhere.
Domestic house cats drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: Domestic house cats are tiny women in little fur
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one
day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he
decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed
home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking
the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At
last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past
the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he
thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours
later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes",
the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put
the little bastard on the phone, I'm lost and need directions."